We get up anyway

I did something a little dumb, but I feel it's suitable penance. I set my alarm for 5 this morning to text Bradley. I've been in the habit of waking astonishingly early and shooting off a text if I'm lucid enough, then probably going back to sleep afterwards. (Bradley's a dairy farmer. He gets up at four every morning.) But I actually set my alarm to make up for missing his call yesterday, which I felt (feel) terrible about. I was over at the boys', meeting their new roommate Alex. we watched a horrid movie (Anger Management, don't recommend it), Jon finally showed up, and then I ended up talking to Kody of all people until after midnight. and I left my phone back at our place, and seeing that missed call made me feel sick. but he left me an awfully funny/adorable voicemail. the alarm worked wonderfully this morning... and then I couldn't go back to sleep! gah. penance indeed. and now because I'm not going to bed at a reasonable hour, and actually setting alarms to get up, my health is regressing. just in time for classes starting. I completely forgot I arranged my schedule so I only have one class ever before noon. hopefully by the end of the semester I'll be thinking: what a stupid idea that was, but hey, at least I can get stuff done in the morning. although I kind of doubt it... my inner realist is clamoring I'm gonna backslide. we'll see.

quick notes on the past month, so I don't forget: December 13 - went out with Sam, sat talking about boys as usual. I was gushing; she was morose. we convinced Ben to sneak out, and spent an enjoyable few hours in a different parking lot until it started snowing. Sam was freaking out so I dropped them off. 'twas still splendid.
December 22 - the Seyfi Annual Christmas Party. this year's theme switched from Carolling to Ugly Sweaters. after inviting all of my college friends, Bradley was the only one able to show. he came early, left late. I was dashing all over the house playing hostess to get rid of all that nervous energy. finally at the end he offered me a hug, no promise attached. I was sideswiped and needed to understand why for the promise, thus said no thanks, and got a handshake instead.
December 23 - more time with Ben and Sam. this time we opted for Perkins because parking lots are cold/dangerous and my basement didn't sound promising. they acted like a couple practically, and again, we had an enjoyable time. unfortunately, this would be the last time I hung out with both at once.
December 24 - my birthday. was awoken at 5:30 exactly by a text from Bradley, which was a nice way to start things off. went to Olive Garden to celebrate, for the first time since Florida. Ben and Sam reported back that they loved my present (a letter, essentially), and nearly/cried, respectively. then they remembered to wish me a happy one, which I found funny.
December 25 - Christmas. Syd cried after reading my story; Selina was less exuberant. I got a shaving razor from Santa... called everybody I know and managed to talk to Bradley for an hour or so. goodNESS, I wonder who I obsessed over all break?! (it gets worse.)
December 27 - headed up to Greeley for Jessica's reception. got there late, spent an enjoyable evening talking with Kristen and Sister Walpole (Bradley's female relations, yes it was a coincidence!) and dancing with Rachel. ended up blushing a lot, but laughing too. stayed overnight with Ashley and saw the Walpoles at church the next day. Brian was leery due to my joke of a perfume-drenched letter, but I think he liked my gift, as did they all.
December 31 - drove back to Greeley for a spur-of-the-moment gathering. I blame Tanya! also attending were Bradley and Kristen, Josh and his brother, Taylor, and eventually Carol. we agreed a small group was a nice change. yay for pizza and Cranium. that night was Em's annual bash. formal wear this year, but we all changed and trooped out to the golf course for midnight. it was windy cold! I would have much preferred if it was just me, Sam, and Ben, but I took what I got. thought about Bradley almost the entire time and caught a nasty virus.
January 1 to the present - sick sick sick sick SICK. gah I hate lingering symptoms. at least I managed to watch Top Gun. and then ruined it for Bradley. I regret nothing!
January 2 - finally went on that date with David. went ice skating, then to Panda Express. I think he'll turn out to be a good friend after all. honestly I don't think he likes me that much that way. thank goodness! called Bradley to report on it immediately afterward (I'm terrible); ended up asking him out on a second date. he was shocked, poor fellow. he's so dear.
January 7 - retreated to Sam's place to avoid the cavalcade of young girls swarming my house around seven, after repeated promises of being home by ten. I ended up spending the night... and didn't call or text the parents. I'm not that sorry. it was one of those unforgettable experiences that we'll be talking about until the next time. and besides, I worked out all my guilt by cleaning the upstairs bathroom, which is a scary place, of my own violition. Mom and Dad didn't have much time to be upset, anyway, because...
January 8 - Bradley finally took my dad up on his offer of a tour of the office. I think both were kind of excited about it, in their own ways. then Dad had a client or something, so Bradley came back to the house and we took the girls ice skating. Syd was having troubles, so he ended up holding her hand first. she needed my permission before she'd let him. then he decided to teach me how to skate backwards, which was petrifying and thrilling all at once. after doing it on my own, I figured out the hip-swing, and I think he rather enjoyed the view. also inadvertently came up with a new family joke: "I'm a bird!" it was an enchanting two hours. then back home for dinner and a round of Candyland, which Bradley won hands down and I lost spectacularly at. after everyone's farewells, the two of us spent a good twenty minutes at his car dithering about how awkward and what a big deal it shouldn't be, then finally hugged. I was exhausted and on cloud nine that night. possibly ten.
January 10 - finished packing up and moved back into the dorms. haven't been to bed before 12:30 since. I missed everyone so much. man, it's good to be home!